Today was a bad day. There were 3 periods of English and 5 hours worth of Chinese. Subjects I don't like. Last time, writing more than 2 pages for a Chinese compo was like an achievement for me. Now, I can easily reach 4 pages within and hour, with time for stoning at 15 minute intervals, stretching, flipping through the dictionary and checking on my army of brain cells. I was almost brain dead throughout most of the Chinese lesson. As usual, 1 paper 2 and 2 compositions today. My pen is going to die a pre-mature death. We should also stop to ponder about the poor trees which are being cut down just for people like me to prepare for an O level Chinese paper.

My day worsened when I got back the music MYE paper during lunch. It's really demoralising. It's the hardest I ever studied for music, yet the lowest mark in my entire short history of taking music. It's a C6. That's quite terrible. It's like the same as my worst subject, English. Maybe only last minute revision works, but I don't like that idea. Seeing how my effort got washed down the drain like that makes me not want to bother studying music that hard anymore. I never got this score before, and I studied harder than before. It's like indirect proportion. The more you study, the worse you get. So why study so hard? Which reminds me, the harder you try, the further you get, sometimes. I didn't believe my eyes when I first saw my mark. But it slowly began to sink in after I looked at my answers and all the red crosses. The higher you climb, the harder you fall. Maybe that's why I'm feeling so demoralised now. It's hard to thank God for my results but I know I should.

I just hope the rest of the MYE marks aren't like this. The only reason why I wasn't dozing off during Chinese intensive in the afternoon was because I was still trying to get over the music marks. Anyway, something went wrong, and I must firgure that out before prelims.

Never give up, even when things are looking hopeless.